now for the feelings and shit.

wtf more can i do. Yesterday i made myself look as pretty as I could (and as stuck up as it sounds I think I did a good job) and i talked and socialised really well with all his friends. Yet he barely paid attention to me all night. Yes i know he was the host of the party, and by no means did i expect the same "one on one" treatment i got for formal, but i expected  needed some sort of sign from him to show me whether he was interested or not. Yes a hook up with his parents in the room wouldn't exactly have been appropriate but even if it was a squeeze of the hand, or an arm around the waist for a random hug it would have been enough.
I just dont understand. He's told P that what happens depends on whether i go interstate or not which means he has obviously thought about the future - something i never imagined he would do, but then he doesn't show me anything to tell me he is still interested. i mean for fucks sake, people were asking if i was his girlfriend and apparently S told J that if i wanted to, I could have hooked up with M,L and even K if i wanted to, so obviously I was doing something right. Seriously, if his friends can show interest WHY THE SHIT CAN'T HE?? And although i dont really believe the whole K thing, I just assumed L was somewhat interested because he was drunk, but holy shit he just inboxed me like 30 minutes ago but im too scared to reply because
a) he is trying to get in with me, which i obvs dont want to do thus risks fucking up whatever friendship we formed from our past two encounters which normally i wouldnt care about but he is P's bestfriend
b) trying to wingman P but seems to be very unlikely because of how P has been acting, thus making option a) more likely and well fuck.

im just sick of being the one who always has to bring it up. We both said after exams, and its now after exams. I guess it's my fault for wrongly assuming that his party (aka the first time we've met since formal) would provide me with some clarity with how things are supposed to get started. I know I need to talk to him straight. Ask him would he have cared if I had hooked up with M? Does he care L is trying to get in? (both these facts i find incredibly weird because i hardly find myself attractive and let alone to asian's and white people o.O) Ask him why he hasnt made a move yet and if it is because or uni, why not tell me?

But i'm scared. I know that if the answer isnt one I want to hear, that P well and truly doesnt give a shit if we get together or not, that the only chance i have of getting over him is by stopping all contact and as slutty as it sounds hooking up with as many boys as i can till i find one that i can hopefully learn to like as much as P.

why does he do this to me.