finally have my laptop back.

for 40 minutes, but still.
So today i was supposed to go to the city with J and S, so I could do a little shopping, visit a brunetti's, the waffle place or the crepe place and i guess more importantly meet up with A but they ended up waking up at 12, meaning by the time they actually left for the city it was 1, meaning they would not have gotten home in time for me to go tutor. So no city for Malshi. I was pretty angry at first just because i was so bored, but the boredom led to something productive and useful: cutting up old clothes and making summer outfits! hahah i actually made a very cute pair of highwaisted shorts, and completely mutilated one of J old shirts, to a half decent cropped top (i kinda screwed up the side, but not bad for a first attempt!). I've decided to do something productive each day of the holidays...whether it be cook/bake something different, make something, go out or work out, I don't want these holidays to go to waste!!! which also means I need to start work again soon. I will also watch something french related and knowledgeable everyday. Today was a crash course in the french revolution, which I pretty much have already forgotten (but has sparked interest in Marie Antoinette) and a documentary about Auschwitz.
In other news P is having a birthday party today. He said he would have asked my too come but thought it would have been awkward because I would only know like 3 people there, which is true..but still, I kinda feel shit about it. I seriously need to face the fact that nothing will ever happen between us. There have been so many opportunities yet we are both still floating around each other. Seriously why can't I just feel like this, with any of the guys who have outright told me they are interested in me. I mean A is all for it, yet I still can't make out my feelings :/ ugh stupid adolescent first world problems :/