indecision

ugh this morning after a long telephone conversation with M and me going round and round in circles in my own head I had finally decided what to do with my whole A situation. I've practiced what im going to say over and over again, but then after a few flirtatious texts, and dozens of pictures of cute couples of tumblr, I don't know what to do anymore. Of course i would like to give it a go. I mean I like him, he likes me and we just want to see what happens. But what if something does happen? what if I really really start to like him and I can't concentrate on work anymore, that i start lying to my parents to see him, waste time to go out on dates when I should be concentrating on the most important year of my schooling life so far. So cliche, but my heart (lolhormones?) say one thing, but my head says another. I'm just hoping when i see him tomorrow, i'll know what to do :/
I also happened to tell P about it :/ he outright asked me if i "got in" which i know he meant as a joke, but how could i lie? his next reply was a bit weird, but know were talking normally again and actually talking pretty deep.
oeurlfkvdlfkvmf i just dont know. I want to go with A but I don't, I want it to be P instead but he doesn't have A's confidence, I know a boyfriend this year would distract me at the start like crazy and make me feel guilty every time I lied...is it worth risking it all for A??
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