revelations.

• umat is fucking hard, and shit the chances of me doing well are limited
• holidays are definitely not as packed as I thought the were going to be
• the reason I don't want to go out with A, is not because I don't like him, it's because I have soppy, unrealistic expectations of how my first (or any for that matter) should be, and he doesn't meet that criteria, which isn't surprising because I don't thing anyone ever will (yes even P). I'm destined to be alone forever.
• you know things are bad when you have bad dreams about spesh.
• I also just realised the difference between a bad dream and a nightmare, a nightmare actually scares you, gets you heart beating and short of breath whist a bad dream is just...bad. An unpleasant experience you don't really want to go through again.
• I'm not as close to N as I thought I was. She had a birthday picnic and I wasn't invited :/