ok so this long weekend I have stayed at home the whole time and studied, but it was the type of study that i feel productive after you know? the weather has been so hot these past couple of days, so even doing one thing takes me hours. About 4 hours ago, I felt somewhat ready for all my sacs (except spesh) and now for some reason, I don't feel ready for any one them, I've done 2 practice sacs for French both im sure are littered with mistakes, but hopefully are okay content wise. I have done so so so much englang in the past 2 days, and I feel like i understand what most of the terms mean, but i still feel unsure about when to apply them. Everyone else seems to have a good idea what they about what they are doing, but i still feel lost. I wish we were given a practice sac so i can kinda imagine how things are going to go, but by the looks of it, the first sac is going to be my first attempt, and therefore im expecting an awful score :/ Methods im terms of "essentials" i've got down pat, but in terms with checkpoints, not to much :/ It's not like im completely lost, but i just want to be able to do this sac and completely own. And of course spesh. I know I am able to completely forget about spesh and no one would care, but its just not in my nature. There is so much I dont understand, and when i try to study for it i just feel like im wasting my time. I know if i really tried i could probably get a 30 for spesh, but is it worth wasting time for a 30, when i could concentrate on my other subjects? i dunno :/
ugh i still have a week, and this long weekend. Hopefully the weather will cool down and I can really hardcore and see how things go.

formal dresses to keep my eye on

http://www.lipsy.co.uk/store/party-dresses/lipsy-halter-embellished-maxi-dress/product-is-JD02317_031

http://www.lipsy.co.uk/store/dresses/lipsy-cowl-neck-glitter-maxi-dress/product-is-JD02296_031

http://www.missselfridge.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=1&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33055&storeId=12554&productId=7811830&langId=-1&sort_field=Price%20Ascending&categoryId=222492&parent_categoryId=208100&pageSize=40

http://www.missselfridge.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=41&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33055&storeId=12554&productId=9517163&langId=-1&sort_field=Price%20Ascending&categoryId=222492&parent_categoryId=208100&pageSize=40

http://www.missselfridge.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=1&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33055&storeId=12554&productId=7839480&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=222489&parent_categoryId=208100&pageSize=40

http://www.missselfridge.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&langId=-1&storeId=12554&catalogId=33055&parent_categoryId=208035&categoryId=208092&productId=8439769

http://www.asos.com/au/Religion/Religion-Olsen-Maxi-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=2567711&cid=8799&Rf981=3680&sh=0&pge=5&pgesize=20&sort=3&clr=Black

http://www.allyfashion.com/store/new-arrivals/27523-dd0140-1w.html

stalking Q's blog, and her last post is this huge rant with fuck as every second word about how much she hates herself. How she thinks she is "fat". I really want to say something, but 1) they'd find out what a fucking stalker i am and 2) what do I say? telling her she is beautiful, that she has a body i would absolutely die for, that she is so skinny that it makes me want to cry, wont do anything. She won't believe it. I understand what she is going through, as it does through my head every other day, but it just goes to show how out of wack our perception of ourselves can get. I just dont want her to go down that road. She is talking just like someone i used to be and who i see owning thinspo'son tumblr. I know her sister had an ED... surely someone at home can see the signs?

cute tutor boy said bye to me first

Malshi you are like so totally in.

things with P have been really good. We talk so much more often, even texting now too :D He wished me a good time for Ed, while he was away on camp... i mean that isn't something he has to do right? I mean as a friend, and all.... oawirglsdjhgs i don't know. The whole formal situation just comes up again. I want him to ask me so so so bad, but fuck, what if im not even allowed to go? IF HE EVEN ASKS ME!

ED FUCKING SHEERAN!

It started off horrible, we got to the hall 2 hours before gates opened and there was already so many people there, we were sitting in the sun in line getting black, dehydrated and worrying about were we would be in the mosh. Once we got inside, we started getting excited, but then when everyone stood up and ran, and the mosh actually formed... it was ridiculous  Everyone was pushing each other  it was hot, sticky and I couldn't breath. I could barely see the stage, and struggle to hold on to J and couldn't even see S. J wanted to get out and just go to the back (we were somewhat near the front) and just forget about it, but i couldn't. I had to stick it out just to see ed. One song I told her, one song and then we would leave. Then he came on. I didn't realise how excited I would be, it was fucking ridiculous, the atmosphere was amazing, people stopped pushing so hard... guards were spraying water everywhere to try keep us somewhat cool (didn't work) and just Ed. He was just so so so so amazing, and I was less than 5 meters away from him. I will never go into a mosh again, but even if I had heard Ed sing "give me love" and then leave, everything I had gone through in the day would have been worth it. One of the best nights of my life.

i've felt like ive barely worked this whole weekend, but here is everything i have done

• 3 exercises of spesh
• my french tutor hw
• englang hurdle
• french essay
• umat practise exam
• chem tutor
• chapter 4 chem questions
• french hw
• and french/eng lang reading

it does seem like i've done alot, but I feel like i've done nothing :/ i also think im coming down with something, which hopefully will be gone by tomorrow because TUESDAY IS BLOODY ED SHEERAN!!! finally getting excited because transport is somewhat organised :D