After moving to QLD i've made conscious effort to try be a better person. To keep my mouth shut when I have something mean to say, to take the high road in a debacle and to not get angry when I have effort right to be furious. I've been trying to consider the consequences of my actions before every move I make in order to protect the feelings of others but despite all of this why am I still the one getting hurt? I'm the one left with no ball date less than a week before ball because of meddlesome friends that i've actively chosen not to be mad at. I'm the one left feeling like absolute shit because i'm letting something as trivial as a ball make me upset and i'm the one left wanting more than anything to go home to Melbourne where I don't have to worry about uni, making effort with friends or being excluded.
Being in a situation like this a year ago would have had me just so so stressed, but now rather than stressed i'm just tired and upset. I'm not panicked about ball, I'm just really hurt that i'm in this situation when all i've been trying to do this whole time is the right thing to spare everyone's feelings and cause the least drama. Does this mean i'm supposed to revert back? When I'm angry shout, when i'm mad at someone be bitchy, spread gossip. Stop being Switzerland and start taking sides over petty drama. I really don't know what to do.
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