things i should be grateful for today

• won free underwear for spinning a wheel
• won free money for candy
• got an A for my biol prac
• got 90% for my chem midsem
• had wedges and Caesar salad for dinner
• no more econference ffs
• im going home in two days
• i have no uni tomorrow
• im going home in two days!!!

Its pitiable that my self esteem relies on having at least one guy hit on me on a night out, for me to feel pretty and have a successfully good night

#needybitch

So I wasn't nominated because I have no friends, but fuck it, here's my 20 facts anyway.

1) In year 3 I was still spelling my last name wrong #13lettersguys
2) I absolutely hate anything with parsley or ginger (J knows)
3) My three top places I want to visit are Paris, Santorini and Africa
4) I can twist my wrist 360 degrees
5) I've read every Harry Potter book at least 7 times ( and some of them in French)
6) I've never moved houses my entire life
7) lol but then I moved states to QLD for uni, so now i'm on college
8) My life will be fulfilled if I hug a chimp before I die (hence Africa #3)
9) I have freezing hands like 96% of the time
10) I'm always wearing glasses or contacts, for those who have glasses my eyes are 7.50 and 6.50 for
 those who don't, that means I will walk into a pole even if its 10cm away
11) On that note, I used to be scared of the optometrist because I thought they were going to tell me I was going to go blind everytime I went
12) Defs a morning person, even after a night out i'm up at 7.30am
13) Probably the most technologically challenged teenager you'll ever meet
14) Brunch is one of my most favourite things in the world
15) I've never broken a bone
16) He may have let himself go a bit, but I would still do Leonardo Di Caprio
17) My favourite movie series is the Lord of the Rings
18)  I'm shocking with directions, I make the stereotype
19) When I'm bored at home I go into my brothers room and sit on him will he's sleeping so he wakes up lol
20)  Chronic overthinker

just saw this post on tumblr
"genuinely worried no one will ever fall in love with me"

Not, gonna like I'm more worried that I wont fall in love with someone else. I have someone who loves me and it feels like crap. Knowing how much they care when you barely give a fuck is just not fair on anybody. I'm worried that I wont ever find someone that I think being with will allow me to feel the most I can feel. I'm worried i'll keep saying no, or have too high expectations of what love is supposed to be and end up alone because none of my expectations were ever reached.

I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do, I've been letting my guard down and making myself vulnerable.
I need to get away from college, dad couldn't have chosen a better time to come up. Yes I wish I was going to fresherome, what I really need is a break from this whirlwind world. To be away from any sort of guy who comes from King's and to just get my feet planted on the ground again.
Stop.Losing.Focus

I really don't know what's happening

I feel like after King's everyone over there just likes me way better. People were coming up and hugging me and they knew my name and I dunno, it felt/feels good.
But this is just taking me backwards.
I told myself I would stay away, that to avoid the drama and the bad feelings I need to stop caring and not let me happiness reside on what a group of boys think of me. Yes some of them I have come to realise can be genuinely nice, but it's too much of a risk to let my guard down and let them in any closer.
Don't lack vigilance malsh, don't forget what they can do to you.

So he is good.

and King's ball is actually happening.
Holy shit

but first my chem exam which I just cannot study for. I feel as though I'm ready for it but i'm not sure whether i'm just being complacent or distracted by King's ball. I've done the pass sheets, i've read the text book, done all my notes and looked at past exams.... i've even youtubed! What is there left for me to do? I started my study early, so I should feel confident right?

please make me do okay, chem is the only subject i feel i can get a 7 in right now.

I think he may actually be good....maybe

I'm really really hoping you won't hurt me.

Please.

I'm trusting you even though I told myself I would never trust one of your type  again. Please prove me wrong and please don't hurt me. I really don't think i'd be able to handle it.

I must be getting my period because everything I am thinking right now is probably bitchy enough to send a grown man off in tears.