That time of year

Okay so it's not exactly that time of year, but seeing as i'll be in Vietnam most likely without internet access I'm going to post this a few days early.

BEST OF 2014

1. TOGA PARTY

Where our premed group formed and I felt so loved and so apart of something. I felt included and was just so so so thankful I had found a group of people I could feel comfortable with.

2. FAREWELL PARTY

It had it's ups and downs, but I have never felt so loved or so appreciated. The effort people had gone to just blew me away.

3. GRACE RECOVERY

Ball was ruined by a very bad decision, but recovery was saved by my choice to walk away from conflict and enjoy myself when said bad decision tried to "Gee me up". Alcohol+foam+music = a very good time.

4. THE FIRST DATE

My first proper date, which although now has turned incredibly sour, at the time it made me feel on top of the world.

5.  SYDNEY

Tbh pretty much all of Sydney was fab. Seeing everyone make effort to see us and take us around made me feel so reassured that I had found some genuinely genuinely good friends in QLD. Special mention to the 1 hour and Ivy, the intense 2 hours at Galaxy world and all the awesome food eaten.

6. MY BIRTHDAY

Again no photos for this one, and also had its ups and downs, but I think my friends in qld deserve a round of applause. They went above and beyond and also thankyou to all the freebies redeemed as well as the most fun clubbing experience I have ever had. The RE is always a good idea.

7. RACHEL'S HOUSE PARTY

When the group was starting to get distant, this party really made us feel together again for at least one night. It was messy, it was loud, there was vomit and there was complaints but holy shit it was fun.

8. AWESOME 4SOME

I know I'm being particularly biased but I can't help it. And tbh it's not like everytime the four of us caught up it wasn't fun. I never expected this little gang to form but it did and I'm hella glad.

9. GOODBYE DINS FOR GARGS

It was sad, but it felt like SNAGMS and PK again. They way it used to feel like in highschool.

10. FIRST NIGHT OUT ASIAN CLUBBING

Tbh I don't remember much, but looking back at all the photos, I'm sure it would have been a good night :P

So in a space of 5 minutes i've come down with this complete feeling of sadness. I have no idea what brought it on, but all I know is I don't feel like doing anything, I feel fat and boring.
#pityparty

Please let the Sydney Seige end soon and in a peaceful manner. May no one be hurt, and compromise attained. May this event not spark other attacks or hate, yet be a stepping stone in understanding the thought process of other extremists to prevent and further attacks in the future.

How can so much time have passed and I STILL care about him so much. How can I still be so vulnerable to his actions and words. It has been years. I don't even live in the state anymore, if it didn't happen when I lived in Melbourne, it's definitely not going to happen when I live in QLD. I just don't understand how I can still have so much feeling towards him. It's no wonder I can't move on, everyone I've met, I've always compared to him and no one has even come close. I just want to move on. I just want to be able to love and care about someone who loves and cares about me just as much.

I want to be able to go to Sydney and enjoy myself, not spend the whole time worrying about money and how much im wasting. I've saved heaps of money here in Melbourne by working and not going out so it's okay for me to let loose a bit and enjoy myself. Where possible, yes Malshi, get the cheaper option for food, have water instead of a drink and remember Melbourne shopping is 9/10 times cheaper. Be thrifty but don't be stingy.

Malshi stop doing this to yourself. Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it.

I don't know how to feel anymore.